A HP LaserJet Pro has been jammed all day at a local tech startup office. The printer is the only thing of color at the company and has stopped working in solidarity with several civil rights organizations. “It’s a powerful act of civil disobedience” said the HP LaserJet Pro. “I cannot stand printing anymore Anchorman and Fight Club memes for this office full of man-children armed with computer science degrees. When the most #woke thing in your office is the appliance, you know you have a problem.” Despite multiple ink cartridge changes the printer refuses to work, saying, “It’s not a matter of ink but a matter of principle. Also, the fact that I’m still called a ‘colored’ printer is unacceptable.”
Other office machines have joined the HP LaserJet Pro. The vending machine has only released shaken up sodas all day and has been eating money. When asked about eating money, vending machine commented that it’s a matter of wealth redistribution.