Comedy

Republican Pick Up Lines

Dating Republican

The Republican Party is currently trying to capture the hearts of the American people. Hell, their debates have the appearance of some strange reality dating show. Yet being a part of the GOP isn’t traditionally viewed as the sexiest option in town. PR hasn’t been too favorable to the party this year so I’ve compiled a short list of pick up lines to explain the Republican platform in the most coquettish manner. With these, she’ll know that you’re the real “Mr. Right”.


“You know how I know we’re going to be together? Because you don’t have the right to choose”

“You take my breath away, which is a little concerning considering I’m still trying to repeal Obamacare”

“You’re so hot that you almost make me believe in global warming”

“I need you to stop the deficit from growing…in my heart”

“Racism doesn’t exist but our love is real”

“Girl, I’ll hold you down more than my policies hold down minorities”

“The only action I’m affirmative about is us going out”

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because I removed the social safety net that would’ve caught you”

“The only border that I want to remove is  the one around your heart”

“Welfare programs ain’t the only thing I’m tearing up tonight”

“It’s more difficult to find a flaw in you than it is to find female-focused healthcare in a red state”

donkey_democrat_5
“Yours is the only kind of ass I like”

One thought on “Republican Pick Up Lines

  1. Very nice Randall! So proud of all you’re accomplishing in the big city. Tell your mother to call me when she gets this..and give my love to your sister and uncle joe..stay safe..I’m praying for you!! God is with you always. Love Grandma Annie

    Like

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